Doctor Love
by Chocobubbles
Summary: Speedy is certain that Bumblebee deserves someone better, and he knows just who to reccomend.


Yeah, so I sort of portrayed Bumblebee as a ditz in this one, but somehow I think she'd be cute like that so it's all good! Enjoy.

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Doctor Love

Bumblebee hung up the phone with a melancholy frown. She picked up the latest issue of _Teen Vogue_ and flopped onto the sofa, trying to mask herself with nonchalant disinterest. Unbeknownst to her, a certain ginger-haired teammate was lingering near the doorway, harboring against the wall just out of her sight. He peeked, trying to decide whether or not he should walk in and innocently question her about the conversation she had just had that had left her so obviously unhappy. Bumblebee had always been a bad actor, after all.

Oh, and by "innocently question", Speedy meant barging in and barking a suspicious, "Who the hell was that, and why were you talking to them??"

Reviewing his own procedure in his mind, he decided to revise a new, subtler plan of action.

He casually sauntered into the living room, badly whistling an unidentifiable tune.

"So…" he started.

Bumblebee didn't so much as look up from her article on "Spring Fashion Do's and Don'ts".

"A-_hem_," Speedy cleared his throat, irritation creeping on the outskirts of his brain. She still didn't move a muscle.

"Hey Bee-otch," he growled, "I'm talking to _you_."

He stood there smartly, anticipating an angry explosion of scolding from her, but surprisingly, it never came. Instead, she looked up, eyes doe-like and resembling those of a child. She turned her head towards Speedy and said,

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Do you need something, Speedy?"

He stuck his pinky in his ear and twirled it around crudely.

"Huh?" he said, "Don't you mean, _lazy-ass?_"

She blinked, "Um, nope."

"Oh, well then…yeah, I was just going to ask you something."

"Fire away then."

_Remember,_ he thought, _subtle_.

"Who the hell was that, and why were you talking to them??"

_Yeah…I think I handled that nicely_.

Bumblebee turned the page and replied, "Oh you know…just another Titan."

"Who is…?"

"Just…someone." she replied vaguely, her tone faltering slightly as she set _Teen Vogue _down and picked up _Cosmo Girl_.

"This someone most likely has a name," said Speedy in annoyance, "and if it's not too much trouble for you, I'd like to know what it is."

"You don't need to know everything about my life." said Bumblebee primly. Speedy raised an eye brow. He hopped onto the couch next to her, making the cushions bounce at the feel of his impact. She shook a little in her seat, but did not change face.

"Yeah," he said, "but I was just…you know, making casual conversation."

"Hm." Her simple, monosyllabic remark was enough to drive Speedy over the edge, and he in turn snatched the magazine out of her hands and looked her seriously in the eye.

"So, _who was it?_" he asked in a manner that reminded her of a detective interrogating a suspect in a cramped, dark room.

"I was reading that you know." she said, noticeably avoiding his question.

"Cry me a river," he said, mimicking one of her most favorite phrases, "now, tell me!"

She sighed. Folding her arms she looked to her side, avoiding his steely gaze.

"It was…Argent."

"Oh?" said Speedy, now raising both his eyebrows in sparked interest, "You mean that hot Goth girl with the wicked blasty powers?"

"Er…yeah," said Bumblebee, her hair-puffs almost drooping a little, "she called me to tell me some…good news."

"She's getting a more revealing outfit?" asked Speedy dirtily.

Bumblebee lightly punched him in the shoulder.

"It was a joke!" he said, smiling like a fox.

"Anyway," she continued, "she wanted to inform me that she and Hot Spot are…"

She trailed off, holding her hand out in front of her like her shiny, newly-polished fingernails were the most interesting thing in the world. Speedy cleared his throat again, this time more impatiently.

"_Are…?_" he pressed.

"Dating." Bumblebee coughed very artificially. She rolled her manicured fingers into a fist and pulled it back, keeping it firmly at her side. Speedy almost wanted to laugh.

"_That's_ what you're so pissed about?" he asked, "I'm was expecting something more along the lines of, 'my mom died', or 'my favorite dress caught on fire'."

She punched him again, except this time it wasn't light. To put it accurately, the sensation of her knuckles hitting his shoulder was like a giant boulder plowing itself into the whole side of his body.

"You shouldn't joke about my mama like that, and I _do_ actually care about things other than material items. Oh, and I'm _not_ pissed."

"Sure…" he said, trying to create the façade that he had not been effected by the punch at all, but secretly screaming like a six-year old schoolgirl inside his head.

"I'm not." she said simply, grabbing _Cosmo Girl_ from his hand and flipping it to the page where she had been reading.

"Why would Argent tell you that?" asked Speedy, trying to bide time in order to inconspicuously rub his tender shoulder.

Bumblebee shrugged, "We're good friends. Plus she was so happy; she's telling all the Titan girls. From what I heard, they're all happy for her."

"And you're not."

"'Course I am," she said, "why wouldn't I be?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he snickered, "You like him."

Bumblebee froze up and mechanically turned her head towards him, glaring darkly.

"That's ridiculous." she stated.

"It's true."

"Is not."

"Is."

"Isn't."

She was now eyeing him fiercely, and that little man inside his head that alerted him when he should start fearing for his life started going into a spasm. He laughed nervously.

"Come on BEE-otch," he said, putting up his hands as if they substituted as a shield in case she attacked, "I'm just saying it like it is. You and me both know that denial never works."

She slammed _Cosmo Girl_ down on the coffee table.

"I am _NOT _in denial." she breathed.

"Then why did you look like someone killed your puppy when you hung up the phone?" asked Speedy, now wielding a cushion in front of him.

"You're imagining things," she said, "I'm completely normal."

"Yeah, you've got giant, insect wings. _Waaay_ normal."

"So now you're makin' fun of my wings. Boy, you never can give me a break, can you?" she was wearing that adorable little huffy-pout—the face she usually made when Speedy was really getting to her. He smiled.

"Trust me," said Speedy, tossing the cushion aside, "he's not your type anyway. You deserve someone better."

"I told you I—" suddenly, her expression softened, "wait, you really mean that?"

His grin grew wider at her words.

_Jackpot_.

"Sure," he said, turning on the charm, "he's too hotheaded for you. Heh, heh."

"Your extremely bad and unoriginal puns fail to amuse me."

He frowned again, "Sorry, _your highness_."

"Cut it, fool. Now elaborate on your previous sentence."

"Well…" he said smoothly, "I just think that a girl like yourself shouldn't be messing around with unworthy types like him."

"Gosh," she said, early stages of blush visible on her cheeks, "I never thought about myself like that."

"Well BEE-otch, that's why you have me—to enlighten you on things you're too naïve to figure out yourself."

"Right." said Bumblebee through lidded eyes.

"So, I'll ask you again, did you like Hot Spot or not?"

Bumblebee nibbled her bottom lip nervously, "Okay, maybe a teency bit…"

"I'm interpreting that as a lot," concluded Speedy, "but it doesn't matter anyway. Let Argent have him. You need someone smoother…cooler…better."

"Oh? For example…?"

"Well, you need someone who can take care of you, but at the same time let you have your space. You need someone who can match wits with you, one-up you all the time, you know? But at the same time, he needs to give good advice and love you two-hundred and ten percent. He needs to be charming…charismatic…amazingly handsome…" Speedy delicately snaked his arm around her shoulders.

"Ohhh!" said Bumblebee in happy epiphany, "I know!"

"Yeah?" asked Speedy anxiously, another sly grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"You mean someone like Robin!"

Bumblebee stood up quickly, all the bubbly energy flooding back into her in a second. However, to describe Speedy's expression, we could say he was distraught, to put it "lightly".

"WHAT?"

"You're right, lazy-ass!" said Bumblebee, beaming up at him, "Robin's so perfect! And we're both leaders! We'd make the best couple!"

"No, I didn't mean—!"

"In fact, we're having a global-Titans meeting this Saturday! He'll be there—Omigosh! I have to decide what to wear!"

She got up and rushed away, but before she did that, she put a finger under his chin and tilted his head upwards, laying a quick kiss on his nose.

"Thanks so much!"

He heard her hurried footsteps run up the stairs, while he sat on the couch with a bewildered expression on his features, lightly touching his nose with his fingers.

**END**


End file.
